I should be SELFISH

I went for partying yesterday for celebrating our one year at MahindraSatyam.

I don't know how people can be SELFISH.Just thinking about them and doing what they want to do all the time.

They are not at all bothered about others,they came and did what they wanted..!!
seriously I'm hating them,why I'm having these feelings..??

Do they really deserve these hard feelings..??
Right now,it seems correct for me..
Hopefully it may change,because I can't have these mixed feelings towards them..

I can't even explain how awkward the party was..??

There are about 12 people,but only 4-5 people have the right to do what ever they want.Its only their party.I was pissed off seeing them and their deeds.
Its not about them all the time.
They should try to understand and behave when they are in a group.
And I need to specially mention about One Idiot.
That Idiot still couldn't understand why people didn't mingle..??
More over ,That Idiot is explaining me to take things lightly..
It was very funny at that point..
OOH..!! Such DUMB people..
I thought,I'm DUMB.

These people are way above my level..I can't reach them in these aspects.

May be I'm not used to this SELFISH acts.I should get used to it and start behaving like that.

I know they are going to spoil me in no time.
I'm changing already,I never used to yell at others often,but these days its coming out of me.
I should control my emotions.

They already lost their position in my heart.
Now,its up to my Brain.
I'm thinking like that.I'm feeling BAD about this.

Why am I judging people all the time..??
Why can't I bear them..??
Why I can't stand their stupid SELFISH acts..?

I'll have the answer for all the questions,if I start acting SELFISH completely.


Come on you people,
Please spoil me or you be spoiled like me..!!

Never cried this long for a while,thanks for the tears

Why..??
Why I am sick of people..??
I hate strangers.
In Fact ,I'm hating all the people and their acts.
I hate to make new relationships..
I'm hating the relationships I have made,because they are hurting others.

I shouldn't have been there.
Making every one feel bad,making me feel bad..

I don't understand them..
They are the most selfless people.
They are the divine human beings who were ever born before.
They did so many things for me..
They helped me all the time.
They were there for me all the time.
They accompanied me in all my moments in PAIN & joy.

still,I have never felt a bit of it.
I'm expecting more from them.
Its my mistake,I should never expect them to be good to me.
I should be selfish like them and may be that's the way to build up relationships in present world.

They don't understand my feelings,how I feel ..??
How I react..??
Its not at all a problem for them.

I don't deserve to be with these good human beings..
I'm the bad one,
I'm not their type
I can't mingle.

If someone says it very seriously with an intense expression on his face,and the person receives you with such a warm gesture.
I don't have sense of humour.
Thanks to the person who cracked this..
Thanks to his sense of humour.
Fuck that Idiot.
I have never spoken to him..
He can crack jokes up on me..
I should bear them,I can't.
And I'll never do that to a person who is not familiar..


I got hurt there,
And I should say Sorry and please everyone.I didn't understand them.
Its my mistake ,I know that..
They are the people who have never done any mistake,never hurt any one..and they will never do..
But I can't be like them..


Even I feel for something,its hyper-emotional for them..
oh..!! They say even that to me..
Fuck them...
That's how I feel..
I can't change that..
I'm feeling that way for more than 20 yrs..

why can't they try and understand..??
They know that I won't understand people,so they can try to understand me.

I'm crying everyday,I can't change my way and I don't want them to change theirs too..

If you people want to KILL me..
Please make it fast..
I can't bear this anymore..

As you people have labelled me ,I'm weak.
I can't endure this pain anymore.

Its a bit too much for them.
But its not for me.This is how I am..!!
Try and Understand..!!

Even I tried to understand you people.
You know what I found..
I found the meaning of "SELFISHNESS".
That's all you people showed me.
I can never think of good aspects of you people,because that's the way you treated me.
I'm hating you people more for your bad,even though all you people have something good in you.
I'm wrong in judging you people like that too..
I'm judging people,If I start judging people,I can't love them..This is what Mother Teresa said.
Why should I judge people?
why can't I love them as they are..?
It is my problem.
Somehow,I'm finding something wrong in everyone and I'm not happy about that..

I feel for this too..

Feeling for this also would be Hyper to them.

Please leave me alone.
May be I'm not the one you think of,I'm very emotional...
I'm a Hypersensitive person too..

Thanks for your treatment,I can never explain how you all people made me feel..

I did the same to you too..
But the person suffering more is me,because I still think of those moments where I could have kept my thoughts to myself.
Sorry for hurting you people in any way..

Even If I say it hurts ,they say you are weak,..

I don't have enough freedom to be me and express my feelings..

I know I'm going to hurt more people If I start doing what I want to do.
Some how I'm hurting them while I'm not being me too.

All the people..
I'm Hypersensitive..
why can't they understand that..??

I can't tell this to anyone,If I explain it..
they will say ..You will over react..!!

If I don't take it seriously..then they can hurt me more..

If I take it seriously,and If I feel bad for that..
Then they can say it is a JOKE..

I'm IMMATURE & DUMB, that I can't even understand a joke....

Finally all you people..
I'm sorry for everything I had done..
I felt bad than you people might have felt.
of course its my perception.
I cannot say how others feel,if I hurt them.

I have hurt many people and I'm really really sorry for that..!!
I'll try not to hurt anyone further...


I am MY PROBLEM.
I'm an Introvert.
I'm hypersensitive
I'm mentally disabled person.
I need a counselling from a psychiartist.
I know how dangerous I can be..??
I'm living in such a pathetic state of mind that I feel something is wrong with my brain..
Somehow it aches a lot sometimes..!!
I'm a murderer,because I'm killing me..
I'm selfish.
I'm arrogant.
I'm an Idiot.
I'm MAD.
I'll over react.
I'll think too much.
I'll think about everyone I can remember.
It is my parents mistake that their Upbringing was like this.
Now,I'm the Rudest person in the world for blaming my parents.
I'm not even blaming them,its just circumstances,nobody is a born genious in parenting a kid.
Its a new task to them.
They took it and tried their best to help me.
But I'm the most useless person that I couldn't figure out my problems with their Upbringing.
I'm such an Idiot that I started blaming them for my state of Mind.
I'm sorry..
I'm not a good son.Sorry to disappoint you.

Its up to me..I should be responsible for myself.
I'm finding my answers.
I have to take some stupid/painful decisions.
I'll do that..

I'll conclude this soon.

I'll contribute my bit for

Making this world a Happy place.